3 Ways to put more romance in your life

Whether you're in a relationship or in the market for one, romance is the spice that adds more flavour to life.  If you want to spice up your life, these suggestions may help to bring out the romantic in you.

1. Shop for the right partner. Did you know that there's actually a formula that predicts whether a marriage will succeed? Consider these predictors for a successful marriage:

• Look to the parents: Check out your beloved's family background, particularly the parents' relationship, to get a good idea of the behaviour he's been exposed to. What we learned as kids we often play out as adults.
• Turn investigator: Are there signs of alcoholism or other forms of addiction in the family? Be careful — there's often a genetic link. Also watch for a family history of depression or excessive anxiety.
• Listen carefully: Identify how your potential partner communicates. Also pay attention to how he or she handles sticky situations and painful emotions.
• Consider whether or not compromise exists in your relationship: If you're forever giving in, then you've got a problem. Compromise is one of the key elements of a healthy relationship.
• Ask yourself if there is true intimacy: We're not talking sex here, but the kind of intimacy that comes when he can clean up the vomit when you have the flu; when she invites your mother for Christmas even though she can't stand the woman; when he has a hot bath and glass of wine waiting for you after what he knows was a difficult day.

2. Don't just tell her you love her — show her. Here are some hints on little ways you can show your mate how much you love him or her:

• Surprise your partner with her favourite meal or dessert.
• While he's showering, draw a heart or a sexy note in the steamed-up glass.
• Give him a foot or back massage — without him having to ask for it.
• Leave a sexy voice mail, saying, "I'm thinking about you" in a low voice.
• Tuck a sexy note into his briefcase or text it to her cell phone.
• Light the Sabbath candles together. Not Jewish? No problem. A study conducted by some university researchers found that couples who participate in and value religious rituals, particularly holiday rituals, seem to have stronger marriages.

3. Take some "alone time" away from the kids. One of the toughest times in a marriage is when you have young children. Finding alone time (okay, time for whoopee) takes creativity. So how about these creative tips culled from young parents we know?

• Keep 'em occupied. If the kids are old enough to play alone in the fenced backyard, throw 99 pennies out there and tell them whoever finds 100 pennies first wins a prize.
• Invest in hardware. That would be a lock. For your bedroom door.
• Set the alarm. Wake up at 3 a.m., make love, go back to sleep.
• Hire a babysitter. Only this babysitter takes the kids out of the house while you and your partner steal some much-needed alone time.
• Take advantage of nap time. Who says you have to do the laundry while your two-year-old naps?