8 tips to manage angry feelings

A habit of repressing anger can ultimately lead to a wide range of health concerns, from heart disease to depression. The key is to manage your anger effectively, and the following tips will help you do just that.

1. Forget about punching a pillow, a wall or the object of your anger. Contrary to popular belief, these common reactions don't decrease your anger. In fact, studies find, they only increase your hostility.
2. Take three deep breaths. When you're angry, your body becomes tense. Breathing deeply helps to lower your internal anger meter.
3. Picture a red stop sign in your mind or wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever you find your anger beginning to boil. Then take a few minutes to put the issue into perspective and ask yourself if it's worth the humiliation that comes from becoming overtly angry.
4. Recognize your own personal signs of escalating anger. These might be clenched fists, trembling, flushing, sweating. Then use deep breathing to regain control of yourself before your anger erupts. If you're not sure about your own anger warning signs, ask a friend or family member. It's pretty likely they'll know!
5. Pinch yourself every time you hear yourself using the words "never," "always," and the like. Such thinking leads to a black-and-white, all-or-nothing mentality and that, in turn, shortens your fuse. Instead, look at things in shades of grey. Acknowledge that life can be unfair and that sometimes people do the wrong thing. But don't fuel the fires with phrases such as "always disappoints" or "never comes through."
6. Remember that anger is really a messenger. So ask yourself exactly what is bothering you right now. Use the anger as a simple indication that something can and should be changed to improve things in the future.
7. When you're angry, look at your watch. Let the second hand sweep around the dial for at least two minutes before you take any action. By then, you'll have had time to think and you can act in a more appropriate way.
8. When you're angry with your parents, think about your children. How do you want them to feel about you when they're your age? Wouldn't you want them to understand that you were only doing the best you could at the time?