5 co-parenting tips for divorced parents

November 3, 2015

Parenting is already a challenge, so when a divorce occurs, things become even more complicated and effective co-parenting becomes impossible without expert advice. Here are a few things to always remember when you are trying to raise your child after getting divorced.

5 co-parenting tips for divorced parents

1. Your child is not your messenger

  • It is surprisingly common for parents to try to communicate with one another using their child.
  • No matter how difficult you may find communication to be with your ex-partner, it is crucial that you refrain from trying to reach out to him or her through your child.
  • Your problems should remain your problems, and your child should be able to trace nothing but appreciation and respect between his or her parents.

2. Being polite will help with the tension

  • Try to always be polite to your ex-companion, even if you don't feel like it.
  • Fake it if you must--it's essential that your child remain under the impression that his or her parents still admire and love each other.
  • Don't be cold to one another in front if your child and do your best to make this relationship a harmonious one.
  • If the other side is asking for more time with the child or for an impromptu visit or weekend away, allow it, and if your kid is excited about it, be excited too.

3. Setting a common set of rules will prevent confusion

  • You and your ex-partner need to establish a common set of rules that you will both impose on your child.
  • It is highly important that your child feel that one type of behaviour is always acceptable, and another is not.
  • He or she should know how to behave, whether in one house or another.
  • If you fail to provide your child with proper structure, security and stability, you both may have to face discipline issues later on.

4. A well-established schedule is essential

  • It is advised that you and your ex-partner develop a steady routine that you very rarely change.
  • Your child should always know where he or she is spending the weekend and who's picking him or her up from school.
  • Miscommunication when it comes to following a solid timetable is unacceptable, as it fills the child with insecurity and fear.

5. Keeping your child out of the divorce lessens the damage

  • No matter what a close and trusting relationship you're sharing with your child, it is vital that you don't let him or her into the drama.
  • Whatever complaints you may have concerning your ex-partner, don't let your kid know what you're thinking.
  • Even if you're more friends than parent and child, it is still very important to remember that your child is neither your therapist nor your buddy. Keep your child out of it in order to help him or her.
  • So contact your ex-partner and discuss what is best for your child.
  • Set a clear set of rules, a steady schedule and agree to contact each other when necessary.
  • Maintain a polite attitude and keep your child out of the drama altogether.
  • Efficient co-parenting may be tricky, but its benefits are remarkable.
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