Strategies for dealing with anger and stress

Don't let anger rule your life and cause you to do or say things you’ll regret. One secret to controlling anger is selective silence, a method followed by Gandhi that has proven to be very successful.

Control anger and it does not control you. The key to selective silence is that as soon as you realize that you are about to express anger over a situation, hush up. Here's how it works.

1. Pay attention to the arising of thoughts (or feelings) of anger or anxiety.
2. Ask yourself this question: "Do I care more about this other person than I do about myself?" A positive response reveals a truly selfless person and a friend anyone would want to have, keep and cherish.
3. Be prepared for the sometimes overwhelming need to express negative thoughts or emotions without regard for the consequences on your relationships or relationships.
4. Choose to not express those thoughts and feelings by being selectively silent.
5. Discern, decide and disregard. Discern that a thought is not beneficial to your current objective, decide not to express it in conversation or action, and through introspection and selective silence, disregard it.

• Bang on a drum to relieve stress. It might sound a little New Age, but drumming — yeah, beating on a drum with a group of people — is a great way to relieve stress, especially if you picture your boss's head as the drum.
• Researchers in Pennsylvania compared 50 people who either participated in a drumming circle or just listened to drumming and found the drummers had much lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol and much higher levels of immune-enhancing chemicals called natural killer cells.
• You can find a drumming circle in your area by looking in the newspaper or checking with an alterative health centre or practitioner.